Langston

It has been one year today since I was able to pet for the last time.  Langston was euthanized after a long battle with cancer. I battled with the decision of rather it was time.  I know he was suffering and was ready for the pain to end. Decision made, we asked our vet if she could end his life in his favorite spot in the yard.  We had already prepared his grave in the area and knew that his 90 pound frame would be heartbreaking to move once the life had left.

We spent the entire day with him last June 6th. He attended work, had Arby's roast beef (his choice) for lunch and for dinner, I made him hamburger.  I had difficulty getting him to eat for the last few weeks because of a tumor that had developed under his tongue.  However, his last couple meals, where not an issue. 

I sat and cried and caressed what was one of the best companions anyone could ask for, while Halle came over and laid her head against his leg.  She said her goodbyes, I guess.  I suppose everyone knew something bad was going to happen that evening by the enormous amount of sorrow in Joshua and my heart.

Our vet arrived around 9pm.  We had already walked Langston back to the spot we would later bury him.  He was excited to see our vet and gave me one last moment with the happy, go lucky Langston.  He even attempted with what energy he had, to play fetch on the way back.  This made my decision difficult.  I questioned if I was making the right choice.  I knew he was consumed with cancer and it had moved to his lymph nodes.  I realized he had no energy and had detoriated quickly in just a couple weeks. I had to pick him up to get him off the couch to even go to the bathroom. 

We knew it was best, so we went through the process.  It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made.  Watching the life leave my best friend.  A choice, I made.  I know Joshua and I made the responsible choice, but I always wonder if it was his time.  How much more life he had left or if I had waited to long.  Answers I will never be able to answer. 

I will forever miss my "little man."  He was an amazing dog and companion.  It is hard to believe, it has been one year.