Journey into Motherhood

Sometimes we get caught up on the end and not the journey that encompasses. I enjoyed learning and growing from the journey of my pregnancy. I never wanted to have children or experience pregnancy until the end of last year. I got hit with the "baby bug." I was convinced adoption would be the best answer for Joshua and I. I wanted to raise a child, but had an enormous fear of pregnancy and child birth. After months of research on adoption, I realized that I also had a many fears surrounding adoption. I wanted to be a babies Mom and wasn't sure I was ok with sharing the Mom role with a birth Mother. I also had greater fear of becoming bonded with a child an the birth parents wanting their child back.

After a million thoughts on the effect of a pregnancy on my career and finances, Joshua and I decided we would make it work and decided to have our own baby.  Thankfully, we were both fertile and we got pregnant very quickly.  I was  in disbelief for the entire first trimester, that I was actually really pregnant.   It wasn't until my 13th week, I heard a heartbeat, that wasn't mine.  At that point I was then convinced that there really was something growing inside me.

We decided very early, that we wanted to have a home birth and already had picked out our midwife.  She was my brother and sister-in-laws midwife and Joshua and I really enjoyed her presences and professionalism.  Our midwife met with us monthly for prenatal exams and was always willing to talk over any questions or concerns that I had about the pregnancy.  She made the fear part of my pregnancy fade quickly.  Anytime I had fear or doubt, talking with her always brought me back into a positive frame of mind.  I always joke and say she is like a sedative. No matter how nervous I felt or scared, when she entered the room, I would immediately feel reassured and calm.  

My pregnancy progressed without any complications.  Fears and anxiety came and went throughout the pregnancy as I entered and exited different stages.  I was able to work until the first week of August.  I had hoped to work through the 22nd of the month.  I had gotten uncomfortable and carpal tunnel was severe. I was in a lot of pain because of my hands and wrists.  Not the part of my body that I expected would stop me from working.  My blood pressure had raised also slightly at one appointment.  My midwife decided to take caution and have me stop being as physically active.  My Mother had preeclampsia during her pregnancy with me and we didn't want to take the chance of me developing high blood pressure and losing an opportunity for a home birth.

At home, I had a chance to finish getting everything ready for the birth.  I spent the month getting baby stuff set up and ready and cleaning the house from top to bottom.  I also took some time to myself.  I stretched, walked the dogs and took naps.  Resting up for the big day.  Toward the middle of the month, when I was 36 weeks, my midwife discovered that Lincoln was no longer head down and was now complete breech. We got an ultrasound to confirm.  We schedule an external cephalic version with my OB.  The version was uncomfortable and sadly not a success.  My midwife gave me some exercises to try to convince Lincoln to turn.  I also visited spinningbabies.com, asked advice from an online Mom's group and went swimming and scheduled an acupuncture appointment. Needless to say, nothing worked.  At 38 weeks and 6 days, I went into labor.

My labor started early in the am.  I waited about an hour before waking my husband because I was unsure if it was really happening.  After a handful of signals, I woke him up and an hour later we called our midwife.  She told us to load up the car and head to the hospital.  We arrived about 7:30 am to the hospital.  I hadn't really had a chance to process the situation.  I had no intentions of going into labor that morning.  I thought I still had a week or more to attempt to get Lincoln to turn.  My contractions got a little more intense after arriving to the hospital.  I am glad that I got to experience some of my labor.  Once the doctor arrived, an ultrasound showed that Lincoln was still complete breech and so I was prepped for the Cesarean.

The couple weeks leading up to this day, I had moments of sadness and crying because of the chance of a cesarean. The thought of major surgery was frightening.  I had never had more than my wisdom teeth removed.  I was also worried about not having my baby skin to skin immediately following the birth. I had really wanted a home birth and a natural birth.  I originally had never wanted to become pregnant in my life. After becoming pregnant, I wanted nothing more than the entire experience.  I had expected to walk my property to cope with contractions.  Use the squatting bar that Joshua made for the birth. We had an amazing birth team that we were excited to share this wonderful life moment.   I wanted that special place in the house where my son was born.   The spot that no matter what was going on in my life, I could glance to that spot and remember the wonderful moment of bringing life, my son into this world.  I wanted the empowering feeling, that I could give birth naturally.  That I was strong enough.

The morning of labor, I surprisingly didn't cry.  I didn't even think about all that could have happened.  Partly, because of being caught off guard.  I was still nervous about the surgery, but excited that this was the day I would meet my son.  I however, wasn't prepared for what happened during my delivery.  Lincoln was not breathing and a code blue was called.  They had to resuscitate him.  He then had to spend the next day and a half in Special Care nursery.  I did not get skin to skin, I did not get to hold my baby for 24 hours.  I got to attempt to breast feed at about 30 hours.  All this was not in my plan and made for one of the longest days of my life.  Not having my baby with me after delivery made the situation feel unreal.  I felt lonely and empty. The little guy that I had been carrying for 9 months, was no longer wiggling around inside and sadly was not in my arms.

When I finally held Lincoln, I felt amazing.  The moment I had long awaited.  He was finally in my arms.  That same day, he got his first latch on my breast.  That was also, an amazing feeling.  Not having a home birth, having a caesarean, no skin to skin after birth, none of these were what I wanted. We may not have had the start we had originally envisioned ,but we were right where we wanted to be soon after birth.  Momma and baby , skin to skin and nursing.  All of the rest was soon forgotten.  I have a few regrets about not having the opportunity to experience a vaginal birth, but In the end, it was still a great start to journey of my motherhood.

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be"
Douglas Adams

The Bump

 I have discovered that being pregnant is similar to buying a new car.  I used to never see or notice a single Ford Focus Wagon around town, until I started driving one.  I feel like I now see them multiple times a day.  Joshua and I have noticed this with my pregnancy.  Everywhere I look, there are other pregnant women.  I have always noticed the occasional pregnant women, who appeared as though she was about to go into labor at any moment.  I however, have never noticed the mass quantities of women at all phases of pregnancy.  Now, I observe how big and awkward there stomachs appear and how they seem to be feeling.

I am so curious about the upcoming changes I am slowly starting to experience.   It is strange how something so natural is so foreign. My body has already started a few changes.  I am 18 weeks along and it seems like my little belly bump is growing day by day.  I have felt, what I assume, to be a few kicks.  I am patiently waiting for the those little kicks to be a regular part of my day.   I am still wearing a few of my regular pants,  but realize that the majority are in storage for awhile.  I have realized that if t-shirts are not long, they work their way up my belly as I move throughout my day.

I am moving through my day as usual.  Working, hiking and walking the dogs.  I notice small differences in how I am feeling.  Everything seems a little more tiring.  Hopefully, I can continue my daily routines for the majority of my pregnancy.  Time will tell.

Never Say Never

At 33 years, I figured I had already mapped out my path for the rest of my life.  Sometime during the middle of my 33rd year, I took a wrong turn and realized that I wasn't lost, but had decided that my life needed a different direction.  Thankfully, my husband Joshua, pondered our direction and happily jumped in for the ride.

We decided that we wanted to start a family.  Our first thought, was to adopt a child.  I had no desire to physically carry a baby for 9 months.  It seemed like it would be impossible because of my career as a Landscaper/Hardscaper.  My desire was to raise a little person from infant on and to be a mom.  

We met with a couple with two adopted children and discussed the process.  I read multiple books on adoption including Dan Savage's, The Kid.What Happened after my Boyfriend and I decided to Go get Pregnant. The books were helpful in the ups and downs of adopting.  Joshua and I talked for days over our decision and decided that this was the right choice for us.  There are a lot of children that needed homes so we didn't need to bring another baby into this world to become parents.  

Time passed, research continued on adoption.  I looked into agencies, cost and continued to read about the adoption.  As I learned more about adoption, I began getting stressed out about some of the process.  I started to wonder how I would feel to be my child's mother, but not their birth mother.  I was beginning to wonder if I had the strength to cope with my child wanting a relationship with another set of parents.

Joshua began to observe my stress and he was beginning to analyze the costs.  Sitting by a fire one night, he brought up his concern.  We discussed some of the stressful situations of adopting and money.  Joshua mentioned that he believed it would be easier to try to have our own.   Having our own went against everything we discussed when we got married.  We decided if we ever wanted a child we would adopt.  That evening sent my mind into a whirl wind.  I have always been extremely fearful of child birth and being pregnant.  Did I really want to put my body through all of those changes?  Could I work?  

I decided to start with the easiest of the questions first, could I work?  After some research on baby chat sites, I realized that answer to this question was yes.  I read about women in my same line of work, working until 38 weeks.  Overall, I read that women should be able to do what was done before pregnancy with some restrictions.  Of course this is if the pregnancy is healthy. 

So, I can work.  How do I get over the fear of pregnancy. Pregnancy is something I had never desired for my body.  I already in my 30's have struggled with staying in shape.  Was a ready for stretch marks and a pregnancy belly?  It isn't the body changes as much as the restrictions, the lifestyle changes, that bothered me the most. No more beer, I have to be careful lifting stone and straining myself at work.  How would I cope?  I thought over all my fears and realized that my want for a child was greater.  Most of my fears are just being scared of change.  Change in my body, the change of going through something foreign and unfamiliar.

 I spent hours looking over statistics on safe births and healthy pregnancies. Thought about rather I would want a hospital or home birth.  Wondered if we were even fertile. After an emotional roller coaster within my own mind, Joshua and I discussed pregnancy.  The good the bad the ugly.  We decided, that this was the best option for us if we wanted a child.  Of course, this is if we were fertile.  I went off birth control at the beginning of December and had my last menstrual cycle starting on Dec. 5th. Over the next month, we talked a lot about our choice. My attitude changed from fear, to excitement.  We thought that it was going to take months for my body to even become fertile  from the years of me being on birth control.  Instead, we found out on January 6th, that I was pregnant via a home test.  We then took three more tests to verify over the next few days.

My attitude about the pregnancy was already changing before the test.  I was getting excited to get pregnant and excited to hopefully carry our little child in my own womb.  Now that I had a positive test, I was happy and very positive about the pregnancy.  I have to admit, I was still in disbelief that I was pregnant.  I didn't feel pregnant, I didn't look pregnant.  But my urine was telling the test, that I was pregnant.  A couple weeks went by, Joshua and I decided again to take one more test.  We really wanted to be positive.  I still had zero signs of pregnancy except for sore breasts and a bit of exhaustion.  The test was positive.  I realized it was time for me to except that I am pregnant and I am very happy to be pregnant.   I am excited to be a mom, excited to experience this little person growing inside me, and excited to see their face for the first time. 

Joshua and I decided a home birth would be the most comfortable for us.  Hopefully, all goes well during the pregnancy and our little one is born in our house. I still will meet with a physician in case I have to have a hospital birth.   I have met with my physician at 10 weeks.  No exciting news from that appointment. My first appointment with our midwife  was on the 28th at 12 weeks.  We were hoping to hear the heartbeat, but we did not hear it at that appointment.  My midwife returned at 13 weeks and we finally heard our little babies heart.    Hearing the heartbeat confirmed that the little one exists.  

A New Year

I have been pretty terrible keeping up with my blog.  So, I am going to attempt to write more frequently this coming year to keep those interested in the life down in the hollow updated.

This winter we have reached most of our goals with our home.  We still have a few things to button up and the hardwood floors need to be installed.  We still have a ways to go during the month of February.  We may not get everything finished before March, but we should be close.

A few goals for myself this year, is to do more woodworking and try to pick back up my instruments.  I made a few walking sticks this last Christmas for gifts, but I have yet to make a spoon.  That is the next project on my list.  I would like to make a handful of spoons this season to sell in the fall at Musgrave Orchard..

My pups are doing well.  Halle is a little whiter in the face, but still full of spunk.  Cadet has thinned down a bit do to age and has Wobbler's Syndrome now.  It affects his mobility.  He can no longer go on hikes with the pack.  Noodles is walking without any kind of electronic collar the majority of the time.  She has come a long way in the last two years.  George the cat, is still a cat.

My chickens went through their first molt this season.  One decided to wait until mid January when the temperatures were in the low teens.  There egg production fluctuated during the winter.  It seems to be picking up a bit now.  They have a new bad habit of pooping in the nesting boxes.  Looks like early spring I will be building a new nesting box that is not attached to the coop.  That way they hopefully will not sleep in the box.

Well, that is all for now.  Just wanted to give a quick update on life in the Hollow and try to get back in a routine of writing and updating the blog.

Growing


Sometimes I feel like my life is identical to the life I led as an adolescent.  It is difficult to separate yourself from the person that you once were when growing up.  4 to 34, what is the difference in your  mind. You don't feel yourself getting older.  Sure, you realize your changes.  You physically grow older and have gained a year more worth of experience, knowledge.  But, still, you are you.  You are the same person of those memories that fill your adolescences.  You are and feel very much the same.  We do not feel the changes as they are being made.  We sometimes don't ever see them.  Other times, we notice the way we have grown toward this part of our being, and other times how we might grow more toward another.

If I were to look back to the child I was and the woman that I am, I don't think I would have been able to tell you my exact path.  However, as I have grown, I have stuck with my interests.  I have always adored being outdoors, admired my Grandpa and Grandma's garden, enjoyed my Mom's landscaping and loved being surrounded by animals.  I have always enjoyed watching things grow.

Until I moved to my current home, I had only grown one garden in my past.  Like all adventures, it was a learning experience.  My garden  was a very small, but I enjoyed some of my favorite vegetables out of the garden.  I grew carrots, and okra, green beans and tomatoes.  I also realized how such a small space can take so much time to keep weeded and healthy.

After Joshua and I moved down to our current location, we started making plans for a garden.  We moved in to late to start a garden during our first year, but our first spring we planted our first big garden.  We had our flaws.  We over did the vine plants.  We had more pumpkin, zucchini and yellow squash than any one could ask for, lesson learned.  I love squash and zucchini, but not that much.  We did have a great garden.  It was amazing watching the garden grow from small seeds to productive plants.

Second and third year we began to figure out what we wanted in the garden and what grew best in our soil.  It hasn't been until this year, that we have not only designed a wonderful space for growing plants, but we are keeping down on the weeding.  We also have my Mom who has volunteered, to come down and teach us how to can when our green beans fruit.  Very excited.  This will be a huge growing experience for us in our garden.  Not just enjoying and eating as veggies come to fruit, but saving and eating into winter.

I have a great appreciation for our garden.  It is gratifying to watch plants grow from a small seed into a mature plant in a year with the garden annuals and perhaps even more gratifying to watch the blueberries and herbs and mints spread and grow into established plants.  We have some of the largest blueberries I have seen around the county.  Joshua is very active in keeping the proper ph of the soil and maintaining nutrients with all of our plants, via organic fertilizing.  

Did I ever think that I would have such a large garden as a little girl? The answer, I am not really sure.  I always admired my grandparents and their homesteading.  Many of the vegetables on their table during the year was from their garden.  They were and still are very sustainable. Their garden is still quite a bit larger than my own. I may not in my youth have understood the meaning of this as much as I do as an adult, but I still appreciated what they were doing.

Perhaps, it is like aging.  I knew as a youth that I wanted to farm, but didn't quite understand what it meant.  I feel that I was the same little girl with the same interests, but knowledge has led me deeper into my practices. Growing is important.  Not just physically and mentally within ourselves, but it is very healing to grow your own food.  It is pleasurable to watch and delicious to eat.  Growing is natural for us all.  Joshua and I still have a lot to learn to make our little farm productive and profitable, but we will enjoy the trials and tribulations of learning. We still have and look forward to all the growing to come.

Hop Hollow Farm


When Joshua and I met, he told me he never wanted to own his own business.

We changed our minds after disliking our former place of employment. We both worked together and ended our jobs on the same day.  Very scary start.  After a handful of years in business, we are both very happy with our choice to go out on our own.  For instance, today's seizure, I would not have been able to take time off at my past job for my dog.

Besides personal time, the most rewarding part of owning our own business is quality and treating customers as we would like to be treated.  Running an honest small scale business that buys 98% locally (with attempt to be 100 percent).  However, as time goes on, we realize that we will not be able to do the labor part of our business forever. It is taxing on our bodies while we are in our 30's.  Eventually it is going to be very difficult.

So, we have started brainstorming to a retirement plan.  We are attempting to set money back, but realize we will not be able to set enough back for a comfortable retirement.  We decided to start selling as much produce off our property as possible.

We started growing hops for sale, blueberries, rasberries, attempting paw paws, ect.. The once Joshua, who will never own his own business, now owns two.  We started our farm last night and registered the name, Hop Hollow Farm.  We plan on selling hops to local establishment this year and perhaps some of our berries.  We will be small scale at first, but we wanted to start establishing our business name.

Who knows where this adventure may lead us, but hopefully it will be a fun ride.

Bad Morning


Today started off as most mornings.  Lazily forced myself out of bed about 10 minutes after the alarm went off. Showered, and quickly got dressed and ready for work.  I had already wasted enough time by snoozing past my alarm.

Once dressed, I filled the chicken feeders and brought the feeders out to my patient ladies.  They were waiting at the gate entrance for their food.  I placed the feeders in their usual places and headed back in for a cup of coffee and to grab the dogs for our morning walk.

With a full cup of coffee, I leash Noodles and let Cadet and Halle out the door.  We all walk the property for our usual morning routine.  We walk .5 miles in the morning due to lack of time.  Halle ran and sniffed about, but checked back in.  Cadet usually lags behind and never walks the .5 miles.

I finished lap one and started my second round.  Mid way through the lap I find Cadet laying on the ground.  I quickly realized that he had had a seizure.  He was still coming out of the seizure when I reached him.  I sat on the ground for probably 2 minutes until he came too and attempted to stand.  He fell a couple of times.  He finally got the majority of his strength back, so I walked him back to the house.

Cadet is very disorientated after a seizure for about an hour or so.  I guided him to his water and held off from feeding and medicating him until he appeared more aware.    After he returns to normal, he is very clingy (more than normal).  I suppose the even in frightening to him.  We stayed home for the first half of our work day to make sure he was ok.

He appears well now.  This was the first seizure he has had since March of 2011.  Hopefully we do not see another for as long or longer.

Langston

It has been one year today since I was able to pet for the last time.  Langston was euthanized after a long battle with cancer. I battled with the decision of rather it was time.  I know he was suffering and was ready for the pain to end. Decision made, we asked our vet if she could end his life in his favorite spot in the yard.  We had already prepared his grave in the area and knew that his 90 pound frame would be heartbreaking to move once the life had left.

We spent the entire day with him last June 6th. He attended work, had Arby's roast beef (his choice) for lunch and for dinner, I made him hamburger.  I had difficulty getting him to eat for the last few weeks because of a tumor that had developed under his tongue.  However, his last couple meals, where not an issue. 

I sat and cried and caressed what was one of the best companions anyone could ask for, while Halle came over and laid her head against his leg.  She said her goodbyes, I guess.  I suppose everyone knew something bad was going to happen that evening by the enormous amount of sorrow in Joshua and my heart.

Our vet arrived around 9pm.  We had already walked Langston back to the spot we would later bury him.  He was excited to see our vet and gave me one last moment with the happy, go lucky Langston.  He even attempted with what energy he had, to play fetch on the way back.  This made my decision difficult.  I questioned if I was making the right choice.  I knew he was consumed with cancer and it had moved to his lymph nodes.  I realized he had no energy and had detoriated quickly in just a couple weeks. I had to pick him up to get him off the couch to even go to the bathroom. 

We knew it was best, so we went through the process.  It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made.  Watching the life leave my best friend.  A choice, I made.  I know Joshua and I made the responsible choice, but I always wonder if it was his time.  How much more life he had left or if I had waited to long.  Answers I will never be able to answer. 

I will forever miss my "little man."  He was an amazing dog and companion.  It is hard to believe, it has been one year.

Welcome Hermie


A lot of time has passed since my last entry.  The topic of this blog entry is my new chicken.  I guess you could call her a pet chicken.  Her name is Hermie.  She is a hermaphrodite.  She belonged to my neighbor, B.

Hermie's life started as a young fight rooster.  When she was a young pullet/cockerel, she was rescued when the fighting cock ring got busted.   B. rescued, I believe 7 roosters.  After they developed he realized that Hermie was not a fully a rooster nor hen.  She has the large tail feathers of a rooster, but the body and attitude of a hen.  She doesn't lay eggs or crow.

Hermie lived next door for I believe two years.  Her life consisted of being the only "lady" with a bunch of cocks.  This made her quite the tough chicken.  Many of the roosters passed in one fashion or another.  In the end, it was Hermie and two fellow roosters.

One spring day, we were all at work.  The valley seemed quite, still from my prospective when I arrived home. Nothing out of place.  However, across the creek, B's roosters had been murdered. Leaving Hermie alone.   We believe it must have been a stray dog.  The roosters where still on the property, just lifeless. The two roosters, laid their life for their lady.  They allowed her to get to safety in her roost as they attempted to fight off the predator.

When B. called that evening, my husband answered the phone.  After hearing the sad story and the concern about the lonely chicken.  We decided we would attempt to introduce her to our flock and let her live her life on our farm.

B. brought over a dog crate to keep Hermie separated from my chickens.  We first tried putting the crate in the pen and seeing how everyone would react.  Brooda, my golden comet, initially ran to the cage and her and Hermie did not seem happy with situation. They were both attempting to fight, crate or not in their way.  We decided it was best to put the crate on the outside of the pen.  That way, no one could be hurt during the first part of the integration.

A week or so passed.  B. continued to bring Hermie over in the morning and taking her home to his coop at night.  After multiple days, we moved the crate inside the pen, but put up a temporary fence around the crate when we were not home.  When I was home, I took down the fence and allowed the hens access to the area with the crate and Hermie.  After a few days, my hens started ignoring the entire situation.

Hermie initially would crash against the crate to get away from me, if I walked into the area.  As with my hens, she began to adapt and get used to my presence.  This took many days and constant interactions.  We finally decided to try her out of the crate and in the pen with the rest of the hens.  

At first she would run at my hens and attack them.  They all coward as if she was a rooster.  A crazed rooster that was only out for blood.  She attempted to mount, but was obvious that she had no idea what she was doing.  This continued for a few days.  B. still would take her home in the evenings.  We were all unsure how she would treat the ladies in the coop.

The worse interaction times with Hermie and my flock was  during treat time.  She would guard the treats and attack my flock when they attempted to eat.  I was beginning to wonder if this relationship was going to work out.  Hermie didn't seem at first to want to back-off from my flock.  I started having second thoughts, but decided to stay patient.

What I thought would take a few days, ended up taking over three weeks to integrate this chicken into my flock.  After multiple lost feathers and the creation of a new pecking order, Hermie was a part of the flock.  In the beginning, she was still a bit rough with my hens, but she has changed dramatically.

Hermie now runs to the fence when I call my hens.  She has allowed me to pet her and is getting less scared of me.  She is still a wild chicken and not as trusting as some of my flock, but she is improving daily.  I realize she will never lay an egg, most likely will never fertilize any either.  However, she has a safe haven on my farm. I suppose that makes her my pet chicken. Welcome Hermie!

A little Chicken story.

So time has passed.  I have had chickens now since the 24th of August.  They were born on the 22nd and shipped from Texas to me via the mail. A long ride in a tiny box.

They are now about 14 weeks old.  They are all getting close to adult size.  Still no eggs.  I have to wait till around 18 weeks for an average chicken to lay and with it being winter,  I will probably have to wait till spring for my first egg.

So a lot has been learned in these 14 weeks of chicken farming.  I received 10 chicks and all ten survived.  I handled them daily and kept their food, water and enclosure clean.  At 6 weeks, I moved them out to their permanent coop.  Before I moved them out, I would take them all out every evening and let them play in the pin.  I think that this backfired for my training.  They were all really good at first allowing me to pick them up.  After a week or so of me bringing them in and outside, they changed there minds about me picking them up.  I believe I am now seen as the evil women who takes them back to that boring place.

10 chickens, that is a lot of eggs. However, I don't have 10 ladies.  I ended up with one rooster among the mix.  I named him Gonzo. Gonzo, to my beginner chicken knowledge is a New Hampshire Red.  I mistakened him and his lady friends for Buff Orpingtons. So far, he is quite the gentleman.  Hopefully once he reaches puberty, he remains a gentleman. Gonzo can be seen walking with me and the dogs. He doesn't actually walk with us.  He happily sits in my arms and is carried for a lap or two most every night.  All in the fun of training.

Day to day routines continue with the chicks.  I realized how much of a commitment chickens can be on a daily basis.  They are very easy to feed, water and clean up after.
However, you have to rise early to let them out and be home in the evenings to shut them up to avoid predators.   Getting up early is not as big as a problem as i had expected, it is the getting home in time to shut them up before dark and having to ask a neighbor to shut them up if we leave for a weekend evening.  Makes traveling hard, but can be a great excuse if you are a homebody and don't like to leave your home.

I am a bit of a homebody, but not to a chicken degree.  I decided to solve this problem by purchasing an automatic chicken door.  Hope to install it at the end of the weekend.

So this weekend brings me to the reason for this post.  I got chickens to have fresh eggs.  I realized that once they stopped laying, we would have to slaughter them for meat, so new chickens could take their place.  Just the cycle of any sustainable farm.  We have the opportunity this weekend to butcher 6 chickens that are not our own and keep the meat for ourselves.  The chickens are older, so may be tough, but can be used for stew meat if nothing else.

I am unsure how this weekend will effect me.  I have never killed, gutted or butchered any animal let alone one that I have handled and looked into the eye prior.  I am lucky that my husband is doing the dirtiest of the work.  The killing and gutting.  My mother and I are de-feathering and butchering. At least this is the plan.  I am excited to take this responsible step, but nervous.  I am a meat eater.  Therefore, I must witness the death of the animal I eat.  Many of us have completely disassociated ourselves with the fact that the item on our kitchen table used to breath, eat, drink and live.  I find this weekend a time for me to grow and become a more responsible meat eater.

Welcome Chickens

So, finally.  The day has come and I have received my first batch of chickens.  I purchased an assortment of 10 brown layers.  They are all mixed.  I am beginning to id the breeds.

Day one with the chickens started at 6:00 am.  I was sleeping and had taken the day off from work so that I could pick up the chickens when the Post Office called.  I also wanted to make sure to be home all day so that I could monitor their temperatures and health.

Phone rings, I wake up and look to see who could be calling at such an obscene time in the morning.  Oh, yeah, chickens, post office.  Yawn, yawn, then excitement kicked in.  Joshua was awesome and awoke with me to go and retrieve our new responsibility. 

Mornings are so beautiful.  Nothing is as calm and quiet as dawn.  The most peaceful time of day.  Every time I have ever woke up early, I regret being a non morning.  It is my favorite time of day.  We drove to the post office on quite streets, no traffic it was still dark, but beginning to slowly gain light.

I didn't run into traffic and most cars that I did in counter were still patient and calm.

When I arrived at the Post Office, obviously they were still closed at 6:45am, I went to the loading docks at the back.  This in itself was an exciting experiences.  Getting to walk through the mail room of the post office, the behind the scenes of our mailboxes.  Very cool, very crazy and very busy.

I find a women bringing in a cart of mail from a semi.  She asks me what I am doing there.  I tell her I am here to pickup my chickens.  Like clock work she states,  "follow me."  To me this was crazy.  Little live animals shipped through U.S. mail.  To her, this was another day and another round of chickens being picked up.  Not her first rodeo.  So I walk with her, and soon enough, the chickens are in my hands.

I return to the van, hand the box over to Joshua and head home.  While waiting for Joshua to awake and get dressed, I had already prepped there water and food for the return home.  I just had to sit them down in the brooding box and teach them how to drink there water.

In the van, Halle and Noodles joined us on our early morning adventure.  They were very excited by the cheeps along the way.  Joshua was very sleepy, but opened the box to take a peek inside at the baby chicks. Everyone was inside crowded together.    I still laugh at Joshua's words toward the chickens, "we are not off to a very good start chickens."  Joshua was not thrilled at the early arrival or the cheepy, cheepy on the way home.

Home at last.  I took the chicks into the back room and opened the box.  My first glance at my new chickens.  They were all crowded in one corner.  I slowly picked them all up and placed there beaks in water before placing them into the brooding box.  Once all 10 were placed, I watched for awhile.

All day on the first day, I watched often.  I didn't handle them much on the first few days.  I figured they had gone through enough on there trip from Texas to Indiana in the mail.  I now have been handling them a lot.  I want them to be friendly to anyone who tries to feed or pick them up.  I also need to to be friendly for health inspections.

The chickens have been fun.  Daily routines have changed.  Every morning and every evening after feeding the dogs, I have to clean and refresh water and food for the chicks.  I usually handle a few times a day.  Picking up or hand feeding. I am trying to get the chickens friendly enough for children to be in my coop and grab a chicken.

So two weeks later, my, my how they have grown.  Within two weeks, they have so many feathers.  They started out with very little feather and a lot of down.  There feathers now are coming on everywhere and there down is getting harder to see.

Besides feathers, I am learning everyone's personalites.  There a few ladies that adore being held, a few that abhor me touching them.  I continue working and learning all there quirks.  They will be inside for a few more weeks then we will venture to introducing them to there coop.

Pics posted soon.

Heart, forever on my sleeve.

When I originally started this blog I believed that with each passing day, my time was limited with my best friend.  He had cancer that was slowly going to take not only his life, but grace away.  I decided soon after finding out the terrible news about his cancer, that I would like to have my buddy tattooed on my body.  Print the love I have for him for my lifetime on my body.  Many thoughts and reason went behind this decision.

Langston has been the only dog I have had, that I adopted as a baby.  I picked him out at 6 weeks old and took him home at 8 weeks old.  He was adorable.  From cuddling on my lap, suckling on my fingers and being carried in a backpack during long walks.  He was my buddy, my baby.  I immediately loved him dearly. 

Langston as a pup and beyond wanted to please me.  As a pup, training was easy as long as he was pleasing me.  He never wanted to anything that went against what I thought was best. Langston played with Halle, played fetch, but always kept a close eye and ear on me.  He was such a great friend and leader to Halle.  She always stuck closer to me because her buddy Langston never wanted to stray far.

I decided on a tattoo of Langston on my forearm.  I wanted him to be on my left arm and visible.  I decided on my forearm so I could look at the tattoo during walks with my dogs.  I wanted the tattoo to represent my best friend as well as make him present on all walks now and to come. With him being on my forearm, the arm I most always hold a leash, I felt as though Langston will be on every walk of my life, every hike, everything, in memory. 

I have joked with people that I wear a part of my heart on my sleeve. On the 6^th of June, I decided it was time for my best friend to leave this world and pass.  This has been the hardest decision I have ever made in my life.  When bringing Langston in to my life, I swore to protect, nurture, care and only bring goodness and happiness his way.  Toward the end of his time, I had to make a decision to end his life.  I will never feel ok with this decision.  It seems to me that it probably was never my decision to make.

We make the decision to “put our dogs down” because we do not want them to suffer.   The only issue with this decision is, we decide when they are suffering.  I will never for sure know if Langston was suffering or I just thought he was suffering.  This is a difficult pill to swallow.

I miss my best friend dearly.  He led me through some of the hardest times of my life.  I will never forget him for the strength he gave me.  I know he was “just a dog.”  He however was probably one of the best friends and companions I will ever meet in my lifetime.  He could read my emotions better than my closest family.  He was always there for me, never judged me and always loved me.

Langston is one of the very few beings in my life that I have never judged or had an angry moment toward.  I know too many he was just a dog, but to me he was so much more.  He was truly a best friend, a companion, a true friend of life. I will forever miss him and am saddened to know that with time, my memory of time with him will fade.  

Mushroom Hunting

 The trees are beginning to burst with leaves.  The grass is starting to inch its way up and wild flowers are covering the forest floor.  Temperatures are beginning to warm up, not only in the day, but during the evenings.
Morel mushrooms are starting to peak their funny shaped heads above the earth.

This time of year, Joshua and I spend as many evenings and weekend afternoons in the woods as possible.  We both enjoy hiking the Southern Indiana terrain and hunting for mushrooms.  This has always been a task shared with our buddy Langston.  He is good in the woods, never strays far, always follows and doesn't mind the slow pace walking of mushroom hunting.  This year however, we are not able to bring Langston along.  He is beginning to slow down.  His cancer and amputation is beginning to show its effects.  He still enjoys a game of fetch and his spirits are still high.

Halle and Cadet unfortunately are not good at mushroom hunting.  They are great in the woods, but don't enjoy walking slowly on a leash.  When off leash, they can't stick near at our slow hunting pace.  They are always running out of site and distracting Joshua and I from the actual task at hand.  So, they enjoy the woods the rest of the year when we are not hunting.

Noodles has been attending our hunts.  She doesn't mind the slow paced walk.  If I stop for too long hunting an area, she lies down and patiently awaits for us to continue.  She sniffs the ground, the air, but mostly just enjoys looking around the woods while we walk.  It has been difficult leaving behind my buddy Langston, but when arriving home, he greets Joshua, Noodles and I.  I believe he understands that he is only not with us because he can not physically handle the hike.  He however, is in the thoughts of Joshua, Noodles and I on every walk.  Wishing he was hiking along side us.

A day in the Life of Halle

Halle, my oldest, can be so routine based, so obedient about not getting on the bed or couch unless invited.   From first impression, she seems to be the sweetest dog, the most obedient, the good girl.  She however has a dark side, a side that enjoys rolling in something vile, not listening and repeating the same bad behaviors.

Alarm goes off, Halle raises her head, and glances toward us and waits patiently for us to awaken and rise from bed.  She lies nightly between Joshua and I.  She enjoys cuddling with us during the night.  She is not that invasive and stays toward the foot of the bed, most nights.   

 As the morning sun begins to shine, Halle drops her head to the ground and rubs her head along the floor. Scratching her head and ears on a rug, she anxiously awaits for Joshua or I to scratch her back near her tail.  This is a very cute and interesting trait of Halle’s that she has been doing since she was a puppy.  She is always so excited to awaken and start a new day.

We all venture down stairs to prepare for our day.  Halle and Cadet usually follow us into the bathroom.  If I stretch before a walk she will watch as I stretch and patiently wait for her walk.  Sometimes pawing me in the shoulder or licks my face to urge me to hurry.

We then go for a walk.  Halle loves the fact that I spend more time outside because of Noodles.  I usually walk .5 miles in the morning or run 1 mile with the dogs.  This gives Halle plenty of time to roam around the yard and sniff out what the night brought onto our property.  After about 20 minutes playing outside.  I call the dogs to come inside to have breakfast.  Halle usually is close, but can be stubborn.  Not because she doesn’t care to eat, she would prefer to spend the day outside with smells. This behavior is limited to warm temperatures.  During the winter I can barely get her out the door to potty. 

After breakfast is inhaled, Halle goes willing to her place (dog crate).  She spends the rest of the morning and afternoon in a crate during the work week.  I have tried for years to let her out of the crate and to allow her to roam freely in the home.  She has let me down each time. Her crate is the safest alternative to her and our house.  She has always been trained that her crate was a safe place.  A place she could go and not be punished and be 100% safe.

Out of all my dogs, Halle has been the one to help me improve the most in my life.  Halle helped me learn to take solo adventures in my early 20’s.  I would go to Indianapolis by myself with Halle, go to a dog park or go hiking in the woods alone.  I had never before really spent much time alone doing recreational activities.  Halle has also been a huge reason for learning my anger problems.  I can get angry and not necessarily be fair in my punishment with the dogs.  Throughout my 20’s I have learned to calm myself and realize that bad behaviors are more often than not, my fault.  I was not giving Halle focus, not picking up or putting away temptation items, or not giving proper exercise and training needed.    I still have a ways to go with my anger issues, but I have changed dramatically.  I am learning that dogs are just that, dogs.  They are not humans.  They do not roll in a pile of stinky to make me angry, they do it because that is what is instinctual.

My dogs have been wonderful friends for me throughout the years we have shared.  They have helped me try new activities, they have motivated me to exercise, and they have helped me strive toward better nutrition.  I enjoy our daily routines and even the crazy “why did you do that” moments.  I couldn’t imagine my life without havening experienced each of my dogs.  They have all shaped me.  I still have to thank my dog Halle, she has and continues to make me a better person.  

Mid March entry.

The weather is beginning to break from winter.  Cold days are getting less frequent.  The sand hill cranes have been flying overhead returning to their summer homes.  Daffodils are beginning to unfold their spring bloom.  Our spring work schedule has kicked into full blast.   We have booked our schedule for the year.

 

Our pup Noodles has been invited to a handful of jobs this season and has begun to be Langston’s understudy.  She has attended two different jobs.  She has had the opportunity to work on a job in which we walked around the entire property pruning and maintaining the landscape.   The second job was a pond cleaning.  This was actually more difficult for her than the large job.  The first job mentioned was a property with acreage and only fencing in the back yard of the property.  Noodles kept eye on Joshua and I and remained close by.  The second job was a small fenced in backyard with a few landscape beds.  The problem being, the landscape beds surrounded the pond.  Noodles wanted to be next to Joshua and I and had difficulty staying close without walking through a landscape bed.   Noodles still needs to learn landscape bed boundaries.  She doesn’t understand that we are in the beds and she cannot follow.

 Noodles has been more active in playing in the yard.  She has continued to play with the ball that we bought her a week or so ago.  She is also playing more actively with Cadet.  This has all been a lot more fun and entertaining because we have been able to drop her 20 foot lead and give Noodles a bit more freedom.  This has been so much fun to walk and play with Noodles.  Her having more freedom and being able to play with the dogs and chase a ball at her own free will has been entertaining. 

Langston is still very active and having a good time.  He still runs out back with a ball in his mouth just waiting for someone to either grab the ball and play a game of tug or throw the ball for him to fetch.  Cadet and Halle are enjoying the warmer weather.  We are having to step up on making sure they stop sniffing in the wood shed and in our limestone pile.  We are worried that if they continue to poke their heads about these areas, they may get injure themselves.

  

Feb. 28^th

Thunderstorms continued throughout the night.  The Tornado sirens started around 1 am and the dogs began getting edgy.  Noodles lay in bed scared and Langston was nervous and in need of attention.  We had very little sleep throughout the night.  Cadet and Halle seemed untouched by all these events. 

With little sleep, we still managed to pull off a very productive work day.  Arrived home and got greeted by our wonderful pups.  The evening walk was relaxing and rewarding.  Nice casual exercise and new training with noodles.  She accomplished a new command.  We are calling the new command two feet.  She stands on her hind legs and attempts to take a step or two.  We have ways to go until the command is fully understood or mastered. 

With a good walk, training and full bellies, we all relaxed in the living room with the tv jabbering in the background.  I spent the evening working on photographs for our portfolio while the dogs munched on a rawhide and dozed in and out of consciousness.

March 1^st.

The temperatures never got as high as expected, but comfortable.  The sun shined all day making for a pleasant day and a great mood.  Joshua and I finished up an inside stone facing job we have been working on.  Always great to see a project completed. 

Arrived back home after a long day.  This was one of the longest days that Noodles has had to deal with us being gone.  She was extremely full of energy and very excitable.  During our walk she had a hard time focusing.  She still did a great job training and we walked a bit of the energy from being home all day out of her system.

We had a little loss of focus towards the end of the walk.  Something distracted Noodles and she completely tuned out Joshua and I until a tug of her leash redirected her attention.  This reinforced that her training off leash is going to be a long time away.  When something distracts her attention, whether it is another dog, a squirrel or a stinky place to roll, she can tune out the world and focus only on what is entertaining her at the moment. 

After our walk, I relaxed by combing Noodles.  I never figured that I would ever enjoy grooming a dog as much as I do.  I have actually worried in my past, that if I were to adopt a dog with long hair, that I would not have the discipline to groom.  No problem.  I love grooming her, it is very meditative. 

Cooked the dogs dinner of ground beef, mixed vegetables and rice mixed with eggs.  I was a bit lazy and didn’t juice there carrots.  Will add that tomorrow to their left- over’s.  I have been trying to increase Langston’s protein intake because the special high protein kibble I buy for him was not available at the pet store. I also try to give him carrots often with dinner.  I have been told that beta carotene is a good anti-cancer agent.

 Cooking dinner for the dogs for me is a never ending struggle of trying to find the right recipes.  I have had so many opposing sources on proper diets.  I do not feel comfortable experimenting with my dog’s health to find the right diet.  I have done a lot of research and plan on discussing diet with my Vet as well as, as many professionals in the topic as I can.   Raw, cooked, grain, no grain.  I am not sure which is the best, but plan on attempting to find a solution?  I do not plan on taking my dogs off kibble, but would prefer kibble only for breakfast and whole food for dinner.  In the future I may make a complete switch, but not with 4 dogs. 

March 3^rd

Spring has sprung.  As landscapers, our business picks up in March.  We start spring maintenance; start getting phone calls from prospective clients for estimates.  Usually, estimates start around mid March.  This year, we started getting calls in February.  This winter was awful and as soon as the sun peaked itself from behind the clouds and the temperatures rose above freezing, people started getting the landscape bug.  We have had three estimates and already two confirmations from those estimates.  Not only the exciting news that we are finishing booking up our year’s schedule, but Noodles and Langston have been given permission to accompany us on the two excepted estimates.

Noodles, is being trained to be our work dog.  Langston is the most amazing work dog.  He is calm and attentive.  He follows us around a property and patiently waits when we are working.  He can comfortably wait for 8 hours in one spot while we build wall.  Noodles, has worked on a few jobs and has showed similar traits.  We have been training and socializing her to become a work dog.  The jobs she has worked, she has been very patient and attentive.  She seems to be happy to just be near us.

March 5-6^th

We spent the weekend away from the Hollow.  Joshua, myself and the four pups, packed ourselves into our van and drove back to our home town. My grandmother turned 80 the past week and we had a party for her Saturday evening.  We arrived to my Mother’s house early enough for the dogs to settle-in.  Joshua and I had discussed that Noodles could benefit from the party.  There were a large number of people and children attending.  She has been used to a pretty solitary life with only one owner in her past who had very little guests visiting.  Joshua and my life is not much different.  We have occasional guest, but usually our home is just the two of us, a pretty calm and quiet setting.  Noodles had no problem passing the test.  She enjoyed the attention of the children and adults but didn’t bother those that were indifferent to her presence. 

 

One more test passed, one more weekend of fun with the family and pups.  Happy to be back in the hollow, relaxing on the sofa with my husband and pups.  Good week.

Muddy Paws

The snow has finally melted.   Looking out back, I can see the grass and the patio.  The weather is chilly, rainy and still winter.  Our creek, which can be dry during the peak of summer, jumped the bridge due to large amounts of rain this last week. The creek has not flowed this heavily for at least a year.  Despite all the rain and winter, we have been given moments of relief with sunshine and mild temperatures.  I had a moment on one walk with the dogs of remembering a day in kindergarten.  My teacher was teaching us about the four seasons.  She discussed winter and spring.  I remember photographs of the seasons and how winter is snowy and cold.  Then suddenly everything begins to melt.  The rain begins to bring in the beautiful green spring and animals again begin to frolic about. 

Boots and paws squish into the muddy muck created by winter.  The sod is peeled away from the lawn with the slightest touch.  First season in the hollow, I was frightened of the damage.  My two big boys would run and slide destroying the lawn.  I figured no grass would survive.  Seasons have come and gone and is fine.  They can do some destruction and our natural lawn will recover on its own.  Overall, the muddy mess of boots and paws are hard to frown upon.  After a miserable winter of snow, ice and frigid temperatures, a muddy mess with mild temps seems like heaven.

I am not the only one smiling because of the relief in the weather.  The dogs are happy winter has slowly begun to fade.  The snow has melted, causing the earth to be exposed.  The smell of spring is tickling their noses.  Halle has always been overwhelmed, in spring, with the smells.  I enjoy watching the dogs walk, sniff and explore the ground that has been hidden from sight and nose, for months.

During our evening walks, I have been venturing more into to lower section of our woods.  This is enjoyable for all.  We cross the creek, truck through the woods.  Halle usually wanders off a bit into the woods.  This has been great for our whistle training practice.  A sharp blow of the whistle, Halle races back toward me expecting a treat.  Noodles and Cadet have also been improving on whistle training.  Langston seems to ignore the whistle.  He doesn’t need to come when called.  He never really ventures too far.  He patiently waits for all the silly dog games to end so a serious game of fetch can continue.

Training has been amazing this week, not just whistle training.  Noodle’s is beginning to down without a treat.  She has progressed with the crawl command, crawling about 3 feet.  She is healing without a lead and playing fetch.  Great progression this week led to a fun outing on Sunday.  Joshua and I wanted to take Langston out for the weekend.  He has not been able to work this week with us so we wanted to take him for a walk and a trip to the pet store.  We decided that Noodles could also benefit from a walk downtown and lunch outdoors at the Laughing Planet.  

We headed downtown and walked a few blocks to our lunch destination.  Langston sniffed and greeted people along the way.  I have forgotten how much he loves the city.  He has always enjoyed greeting and meeting people on walks.  Noodles on the other hand, had nothing to do with anyone.  She kept her focus on Joshua and I and ignored passer-bys and greeters.  Reaching our destination, we sat and quietly enjoyed our lunch, while the two dogs laid down and patiently waited for us to complete our meal.  After lunch we headed back to the van and off to the pet store, where Langston picked out a tug toy.

Spring may not be here, but it has fooled us.  My pack and I are excited about the warming temperatures and beginning to spend as much time outdoors as possible.  It has been a good week.

First warm days of the Year.

The bad weather has finally ceased and warm air has excited us all.  Sticks have been placed in a pile on our five acre property and the doggy doo, once hidden by the snow, has been uncovered and properly disposed.   Play sessions and walks have grown in length and intensity.  The whole pack loves being out now that the weather is breaking.  With the warm weather, the slippery surfaces have begun to fade and Langston’s three legged adventures of skating across the constantly reoccurring ice, had faded.

The week of wonderful weather continued so we decided to plan a hike the upcoming weekend.   Saturday arrived and we awoke and started getting ready for the hike.  The one thing I had not even considered was Langston.  I was aware that we were only hiking with Halle and Noodles, but did not think about, in detail, how this would affect my buddy.  Langston had not been able to work with us for over a week because of our current project.  Now we were loading up our hiking packs (which he is very familiar) and Halle and Noodles.  He refused to lie down and sat by the door.  This was heartbreaking.  Joshua and I both really needed to go for a long hike in the woods for our own psyche.  Halle and Noodles also deserved this privilege. Langston, since the amputation, has not been able to walk more than 1 mile.  It was still very difficult to leave Langston behind, the friend that has always accompanied me in the woods. 

Our van loaded, off we headed to the woods.  Tears shed for the first half of the drive.  I couldn’t erase the picture of Langston, confused and sad as to why he was being left behind.  The other upsetting topic in my mind was that the night before, Langston coughed.  The coughing has continued since Friday night.  Cancer in his lung is beginning to bother his breathing.  This seemed to come out of nowhere.   This hike, though joyful, was beginning to feel like a life transition.  I was leaving behind my friend, my hiking companion and moving on.  Guilt ridden, but also realistic I acknowledge that this unfortiunately is life.

Entering the woods, after the first mile, I was able to clear my mind and enjoy the moment.  I was walking with my wonderful husband, Halle, and Noodles.  The weather was pleasant for a February afternoon.  We walked a little over 3 miles in about 1 hour and realized that we, as well as our close to 10 year old Halle, were all a little out of shape.  We haven’t hiked a distance in awhile.  We arrived home and played outside for another hour with Langston and Cadet.  Even though I was heartbroken for leaving my best friend at home for a hike, he seemed untouched.  Dogs are amazing in dealing with life.   They roll with the punches without much complaint. 

Needless to say, I am aware that Saturday was a transition.  My friend is getting tired.  He is losing his everyday drive.   He is coughing.  Cancer is progressing at a faster rate than I had ever expected.  We still play fetch.  We still walk, but change is apparent.  He is beginning to lag behind; he is beginning to lie down for awhile between throws.  I know I must prepare myself.  I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that I will always treasure what I had with Langston.   He will forever join me on my hikes.  Maybe not in a physical presence, but he will always be with me.

My fourth dog, my friend.

 I never thought that any dog would ever touch my heart the way that Langston has touched mine.  Noodles is quickly working her way into the deep, hidden walls of my heart.  She has been a wonderful friend, companion, and a distraction walking into my life the day after finding out that Langston's cancer had moved into his lungs.

 We adopted Noodles from a friend.  He had a few dogs and Noodles had not seemed to fit into the dynamic of his pack.  We baby-sat Noodles last winter and realized that she did fit in well with our dogs, but we did not even consider her becoming a member of our pack.  That summer we found out about Langston's bone cancer.  Grief stricken, we approached our neighbor and asked what he thought about us adopting Noodles.  We asked him to think it over, and we wold revisit the topic at a later date.  In early January, everything with Noodles just fell into place.  Our friend was in need of some relief and we were in need of a major distraction after learning Langston's cancer had spread.

Noodles moved in on January 4th, and we immediately had a few issues to work through: kitty food, kitty poop, and tasty recyclables were all irresistible.  Issues not much different then those of our other lady of the house.  Halle has never been able to turn away kitty food or kitty poop.  After a few days of "no's" and constant reminders to ourselves to wash out recyclables, these problems faded.  Noodles quickly learned that some things were ok, others were not.  We still have to make sure the room to the cat box is properly secured.  Not just for Noodles, but for all the Toostie Roll fans in our home.

The next new adventure for Noodles was food.  I try at least four nights out of the week to have a home-cooked dinner for the dogs and they usually get yogurt in their kibble for breakfast.  The first night of real food, Noodles looked at her bowl as if I was trying to poison her.  She, like most pups, was used to kibble.  After trying breakfast with yogurt and real food dinners, I quickly had created a picky monster.  She started refusing plain kibble after a week.  Thankfully, she has changed this habit.  We also have a routine for feeding at our house.  Our dogs eat half their meal in the morning and the remainder in the evening, they wait to be given the command to begin eating and then they have 10-15 minutes to eat before the food is removed.  Like all our other rituals, Noodles quickly adjusted and has fit in better than I could have imagined with the rest of the pack.  Very smart, girl.

After giving Noodles time to adjust to the initial move-in, new food, new pack members, and her new daily routines, we began basic obedience training. Noodles had not appeared to have had any formal training before we adopted her.  She was well socialized and very friendly with people and animals, especially cats.  I have been certified in training dogs and thoroughly enjoyed my training sessions with Halle.  I was very excited to start training again with Noodles.  Joshua and I both started with basic commands: sit, down, stay, come.  After a few days of training, I was stricken with the training bug.  I searched the internet for a book on training that I had lost.  "Training your Dog. The Step-by-Step manual" by Joachim Volhard and Gail Tamases Fisher, a helpful guide on how to break down training sessions.  I realized that I had grown disorganized in a basic obedience training lessons.  The book arrived and lessons began.  Noodles is very intelligent and adores training sessions.  We train her constantly throughout a day and try to have at least one formal training session a day.  She has mastered the basic commands and we are beginning whistle training, follow, crawl, stand and rise.

 So, why all the crazy training?  We use training for bonding, attention, fun and distraction.  Also, Noodles is a runner.  She plagued her old owner with running away.  We hope through constant training that we can break her of this habit.  We have Noodles sit calmly and wait until we release her before she can go outside, though she is always leashed.  She has progressed so much since her initial days as our dog and we are hoping to take her to a dog park this summer for off-leash training and enroll her in agility training.

 Noodles like many things in life, has proven me wrong.  When finding out about Langston, I told Joshua I would never be able to love another dog with the same compassion that I do for Langston.  I have been graced with Noodles for less than two months and she is quickly moving into the same category as my favorite buddy.  Thankfully, Langston loves her as much as I do, and even allows her to cuddle with us during our special time in the morning.  The other dogs go downstairs and Langston and I sit and meditate for a few minutes.  Noodles, from day one, joined these meditations.  She is a special lady and I look forward to growing memories and experiences with this wonderful dog.

The Two Strangers

Joshua and Cadet.  Buddies!!

  Life was routine for myself and the three dogs. We had morning walks, evening walks and playtime.  Weekends were full of long walks, relaxing outdoors at a local coffee shop, fetch at the park.  I took the dogs with me wherever I could.  I had never spent a night without them.

 Langston, who was still angry about Cadet's arrival in my home, still had time alone with me.  We would walk every Saturday morning, roughly 2 miles to the Farmer's Market.  He would patiently wait for me outside the market.  I would quickly walk through, grab my produce, fruit and bread.  I always made sure to grab a baguette and blueberries, when in season.  Before our walk home, I would sip on coffee and we would both enjoy blueberries and bread.  This was probably one of my most favorite moments of every week.  I enjoyed our companionship and he enjoyed some alone time with me.  With 4 miles under our belt, Langston and I still had to walk Cadet and Halle.  So leashes in hand we headed off to the park.

  My routine continued until late spring.  In late Spring of 2004, I met my future husband, Joshua.  Life changed a lot for my dogs during this transition.  We would still go for our walks, but spent evenings over at Joshua's.  He had a large back yard so the pups and I would play fetch and have fun there, instead of the park.   Halle and Cadet took up with Joshua as if they had never known life without him.  Langston on the other hand, not so much.  Langston was very jealous.  He had always been the alpha male in the pack, the shoulder to cry on, the twinkle in my eye.  Who was this strange fellow and why was he taking time away from him, with me.  He was used to be the center of attention.  This was a difficult period of adjustment.

  Needless to say, we had a long road ahead.  Langston enjoyed Joshua's company, but was an emotional wreck inside.  He started having stomach disorders with vomiting and diarrheal. We later found out, this was Langston's way of showing me that he was jealous and unhappy. Time passed and Langston realized I was not going to leave him behind and he very much was still the apple of my eye.  He and Joshua are great friends now, but Joshua still gets grumbled at if Langston wants to be alone with me.

George

  Throughout all of the adjustments my dogs had to take by Joshua and I beginning a relationship.  Joshua's cat George had a bigger challenge.  George, the second stranger,  was not so sure about this women with the three dogs entering into his life.  He would watch us from afar for the first couple of months. He was a terror to other cats and didn't much tolerate dogs.  He would hiss if the dogs tried to interact with them or slap them in the face.  My dogs grew up around cats and have never fully understood why all cats don't like them.   Eventually, and 1 million slaps later, he tolerates the dogs.  He and I on the other hand are good buddies.  He will cuddle on me in the mornings and begs for me to groom him.  George acts somewhat like one of the dogs.  He walks with us on our property on a leash and lays by the woodstove with a dog Kong at his feet.  Even though we all had to adjust, we have all been treated to a wonderful life together as a pack.

Langston and Joshua at the Lakes in 2010. Langston was recovering from his amputation of his leg because of bone cancer.

   Joshua and George have brought so much joy into my life.  Joshua has helped me become a better, calmer person.  He has a wonderful attachment and love for our dogs, as well as they do for him.  Even Langston.  Many stories could be told about our meeting, as I am sure they will throughout the blog.  When we all became a family, I never realized just how important Joshua's support would be become.  Now that my dogs are seniors, I am unsure what I would have done without Joshua in my life.  The stress of aging is difficult.  My three dogs, not very long ago where spry, crazy pups.  Running around without a care in the world.  They are all entering the senior stage of their lives and all have some sort of medical issue.  Joshua's strength has been wonderful during some of the hardest times. Halle has chronic bronchitis.  There have been asthmatic fits that we were unsure if she would continue breathing.  Cadet has epilepsy.  This is very scary and would be very difficult for me to experience alone.  The seizures are frightening, but so is the unresponsive 105lb dog during and afterwards.  Langston was diagnosed with cancer last year.  Having Joshua as my shoulder to cry on, my friend to confide in, has made this all tolerable.  Animals are a joy, but their lives are short.  This makes loving them wonderful, but it can be painful.  I adore Joshua for his love for me and our pack.


Even though, Joshua started out as a stranger to my dogs, he is as close if not closer to them as I am.